I'm writing this from Mercy Hospital.
Tiff is resting between contractions, and I am sitting here with my Bible open, making clickety clacks as the blinking line taunts me challenging me to put these thoughts to words. Kai and Tiff are watching TV, and I'm sitting nearby trying to collect my thoughts while we wait to meet Gabriel. My oldest girl is ten now, which is still hard to process. One minute you're in a waiting room waiting for her to be born while the snow is raging outside, and the next you're in a hospital room together waiting for her baby brother to arrive… While a snowstorm is about to rage outside. Life moves pretty quick.
RyGuy is back home with Micah they're watching Tata... And probably turning our living room into a disaster zone in the most adorable way possible.
There's something about waiting for a child to be born that strips life down... Hospital rooms do that.
The hum of the machines
The quiet in between updates.
The awareness that my wife is carrying a burden I cannot carry for her. Even while we wait part of my brain is also tracking this winter snow emergency that’s coming soon…It is a strange thing how life can hold holy anticipation and ordinary anxiety in the same breath.
And in the middle of all of that im reading Matthew 9:35 through 10:4
Part of the reason is simple... The ladies Bible study on Monday night is in Matthew, and I try to keep up. I am the priest of my home and I take that seriously so I want to stay close to where my wife and kids are studying. But there was another reason too. Pastor Norm preached recently about what he called the one-second prayer... you know those quick dependent prayers that can rise from the heart in real time. Lord, help me... Give me wisdom... Have mercy... And praying that the Lord would send laborers is one of those prayers I've started to build into my regular prayer life. So this portion was already sitting near the top of my mind.
Honestly, it hit me harder in this room than it might have anywhere else.
Jesus looks out at the crowds and sees people who are harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then He tells His disciples to pray for laborers because the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. And almost immediately after that, He calls those same men to Himself and sends them.
That is such a Jesus thing to do.
They pray for workers, and then He volun-tells them.
That'll preach... but more than that it convicts me.
Because if I'm being honest, there are plenty of times I'm happy to pray about the need as long as somebody else gets assigned to it. I'll say, Lord, raise up men... Raise up leaders... Raise up bold witnesses... Raise up faithful laborers. And all the while, I'm quietly hoping He means somebody with more time, more strength, more gifting...Somebody less tired... Somebody who isn't sitting in a delivery room trying to keep his thoughts together while his wife is having contractions, while the weather report keeps threatening a mess outside.. my mind keeps bouncing between prayer and fatherhood and what life is going to feel like when baby number four is finally in his arms.
But that is not how Jesus works.
He tells them to pray but He also shows them that prayer is not how we avoid obedience. Prayer is the front door to obedience.
I think about fatherhood a lot. Probably more than ever right now. I think about Kairi, My Little Love, watching everything… how I need to guard her heart in a world that is filling her eyes and ears. I think about little Rylan, My Joy, soaking in more than I realize… soaking in how to be a father and how to fail at it daily from me. I think about Micah, My Peace, still so tiny, still learning the trust and waiting for one shouting outburst from his father to break that trust. And now Gabriel, My Hope, is about to enter that same world. A world full of beauty, yes, but also confusion. A world full of image bearers who do not know their Shepherd.
That's what Jesus sees in Israel…He sees sheep without a shepherd.
Not annoyances... Not burdens... Not obstacles... Not inconvenient people who are messing up your plans. Sheep without a shepherd.
That line wrecks me because it tells me something about the heart of Christ. He is not cold toward the lost. He is not detached. He is not irritated. He is moved with compassion.
That word matters.
Compassion is not vague, not the soft, flimsy stuff our culture often mistakes for love. The compassion of Jesus is holy. It sees clearly. It tells the truth. It does not flatter sin. But it also does not stand at a distance folding its arms. Jesus sees the misery of people under sin, under false leadership, under spiritual darkness, and His heart moves toward them.
I need that reminder.
Because there are days when I don't see people the way Jesus sees them... I see interruption... I see noise. I see one more thing on the list... One more demand.... One more issue to sort through when I'm already tired. I can become so consumed with what I have going on that I forget there are people all around me stumbling through life without a Shepherd.
That includes the angry person… the confused person… the immoral person… the apathetic person… the proud church kid… the exhausted dad.. and mom… The teenage who laughs at Christianity because deep down he's never actually seen the beauty of Christ.
Jesus sees them.
And He has compassion.
As I sit here waiting on “Gabey Baby”, I cannot escape the fatherliness of that image. Every one of my kids have had times where they just needed me close. Not in any way they can explain it, but because kids know when they need dad nearby. A loud room…A hard night… A scraped knee… strange place. They reach for someone they trust to protect, guide and care for them.
That's what makes the image of sheep without a shepherd so tragic. They have no protection from wolves, no guiding beside still waters and into green pastures, no restoration, no renewal.
And Jesus steps right into that.
He does not say the harvest is small. He says it is plentiful.
That means the issue is not a lack of need or a lack of opportunity. The fields are full. There are people all around us who need Christ. There are homes that need the gospel. Kids who need truth. Marriages that need hope. Men who need to be called to repentance and courage. Women who need to know the dignity and grace of Christ. Young people who need more than the digital nonsense this age keeps feeding them.
The harvest is plentiful.
The problem is the laborers are few.
Jesus does not let His people to hide behind the illusion that there is nothing to be done. No, there is much to be done. The issue is whether we are willing to be sent.
Matthew says Jesus called His twelve disciples to Himself and gave them authority. I love that order. He called them to Himself first.
Before mission comes nearness. Before service comes surrender. Before public usefulness comes personal closeness to Christ.
That is everything.
A man cannot lead his home well if he is not near Christ. A father cannot shepherd his children by living on fumes from an empty bible study tank. A teacher cannot feed others while privately starving himself of knowledge. A church cannot display the beauty of Jesus if it is trying to do ministry without the presence and power of Jesus.
He called them to Himself.
I'm thankful for that because I know what I am apart from Him.
Left to myself... I am inconsistent... Distracted... Proud at the dumbest times... Fearful in ways I do not always want to admit... I can be bold in the abstract and terrified to speak in reality... I can talk a big game about mission and still shrink back from ordinary obedience.
And yet Jesus still calls ordinary men. That gives me hope.
In verse 1 they are disciples. In verse 2 they are apostles. Peter. Andrew. James. John. Philip. Bartholomew. Thomas. Matthew the tax collector. James the son of Alphaeus. Thaddaeus. Simon the Zealot. Judas Iscariot.
What a crew.
You read that list and one thing becomes clear fast... Jesus is not building His kingdom with the kind of people we would brag about. There are fishermen... A tax collector... A Zealot... Unknowns... And then Judas, the betrayer, standing there as a chilling reminder that being near Jesus is not the same thing as belonging to Him.
I think Matthew leaves the rough edges showing on purpose.
He wants us to feel the scandal of grace.
Matthew even calls himself "the tax collector." That gets me. He could have just written his name and moved on. But no, he leaves the old title there like a scar turned into a testimony. He wants us to remember what kind of man Jesus called.
That encourages me as a dad, as a husband, as a brother trying to be faithful.
Because some days I am sharply aware of what I am not.
I am not enough in myself for any of the callings God has placed on my life. Not for Tiffany. Not for Kairi. Not for Rylan. Not for Micah. Not for Gabriel. Not for ministry. Not for the moments where people need wisdom, steadiness, tenderness, conviction, patience, or courage.
But this passage reminds me that Jesus does not wait until people are naturally impressive before He uses them.
He calls them. He brings them near. He gives what they do not possess in themselves. He sends them in His authority, not their own.
That is such good news.
And the number twelve is no accident either. The twelve tribes echoed in twelve apostles. The Shepherd is gathering His flock. The King is forming a renewed Israel around His own person. This is not random recruitment. This is redemptive history unfolding in front of us.
Man, I love that.
I can almost hear myself explaining this to Kairi in the room here when the TV quiets down and she gives me that look that says, "oh...ok can you grab me my chips" But I want my kids to see this kind of thing. I want them to know the Bible is not disconnected stories taped together. It is one glorious unfolding revelation centered on Christ... Every page is moving somewhere... Every promise is finding its yes in Him.
And Matthew 10 is one of those moments where the whole thing lights up.
The Shepherd has come. The King is here. The people are being gathered. The mission is beginning.
Still, the part that sticks with me most today is not just the symbolism. It is the personal confrontation of it all.
They prayed for workers. Jesus answered with them.
What if that is still how He works?
What if the reason some of us feel stirred when we see need is because Christ is not merely informing us but summoning us? What if the burden is part of the calling? What if the prayer request is also a commission?
That matters for dads. It matters for churches. It matters for me.
It is easy to look around and lament the state of the world. It is easy to talk about how lost people are, how weak churches are, how compromised leaders are, how dark the culture is. But Jesus does not simply teach His disciples to complain about the world. He teaches them to pray and then to go.
MEN we have enough passive observers. Enough armchair quarterbacks... Enough men who can diagnose everything online but will not shepherd their own home, disciple their own kids, lead in prayer, open the Scriptures, serve the church, or speak of Christ with courage.
The harvest is plentiful. The laborers are few. Pray. Come to Jesus. Be sent.
And yes, there is warning here too. Judas is in the list. That sobers me. It should sober all of us. You can stand close to the things of God and still have a heart untouched by saving grace. You can be around truth and never be transformed by truth. You can have exposure to God even do the churchy stuff and yet remain spiritually dead.
That warning is terrifying, and it should be.
But it also makes the gospel shine brighter.
Because the answer to our weakness is not pretending we are stronger than we are. The answer is not trying to manufacture spiritual authority out of personality, talent, or hustle. The answer is Christ.
The true Shepherd. The true faithful Son. The One who does not merely send others into danger but goes Himself. The One who came for harassed and helpless sheep. The One who lays down His life for the flock. The One who dies for sinners, rises in power, and still gathers weak people to Himself by grace.
That's the hope.
Not that we are enough. Not that we finally get our act together. Not that our family life is polished and tidy and picture perfect.
My life sure isn't.
Right now I'm in a hospital room with a tired body, A heart convicted by the text... Tiffany is carrying pain with a strength that humbles me. Kairi is here waiting to meet her little brother. The boys are at home. And I'm sitting with Matthew open in front of me realizing all over again that Jesus loves to work through ordinary people in ordinary places during deeply unordinary moments.
And maybe that is where you are too.
Maybe you're tired. Maybe you feel unqualified. Maybe your life does not feel very pulpit ready right now. Maybe you're waiting in weakness, noise, diapers, bills, fear, maybe you feel far from God spiritually and have been quenching the spirit
Hear me.
Jesus still calls people to Himself. He still has compassion on the helpless. He still gathers sheep. He still sends laborers. And He still delights to write unlikely names on His list.
So pray for workers... But pray carefully... Because the Lord of the harvest may answer that prayer by drawing a circle around your own life and saying start here.
Clinging to His grace,
Manuel
